Published in 2014, Everything I Never Told You recounts the story of a Chinese-American family after the tragic death of their golden child, Lydia. Based in the 1970s, in small-town Ohio, it intertwines various themes such as racism, and sexism, while the author unveils the family’s daily life. And as the title might suggest, the story revolves around secrets, which slowly come to light after Lydia’s death. Indeed, while Celine Ng explores the complexity of being in a Chinese-American family in a 1970s society, she also analyses the complex familial bonds built upon silence and secrets.
The Lees are a family of five; James, the father, who is of Chinese descent and struggles to deal with his heritage; Marilyn, the mother, whose dreams of becoming a doctor crumbled with her first pregnancy; Nath, the eldest, underappreciated and dreams of escaping to university; Lydia, the golden child, who fails to fulfil her mother’s expectation and Hannah, living in her siblings’ shadows. The story begins with a simple, “Lydia is dead. But they don’t know this yet… no one knows anything but this innocuous fact: Lydia is late for breakfast.” This line encompasses the entire book’s atmosphere: while the characters believe they know something, the reader knows they do not truly understand the entire truth.
This first line also puts forward Lydia, indicating how the story, like the family, orbits around her. Lydia is described, from the first chapter, as a secretive child. Indeed, we are told of Marilyn’s shock when she saw Lydia walking at eleven months, without any warning, and she questions, “What else have you been hiding?” and later understands, “Lydia, still small enough to cradle, had secrets”. And the more her parents push her to become the embodiment of their own failed dreams, the more secrets pile up. James wants her daughter to be popular and well-liked, which he was not, so Lydia pretends to have friends, falsely speaking to them on the phone, and she “could hardly believe how easy it had been to bring that bright flush of joy to her father”. Her mother wants her to be a doctor, reflecting that while it was too late for her, “it wasn’t too late for Lydia”. Lydia, having silently promised to do “everything her mother wanted” if she ever returned from her disappearance, takes it upon herself to make her mother’s dream come true. This leads to several more secrets, such as hiding her failed tests.
There is one character though who knows – if only partially – Lydia: Nath. In their youth, the pair appear as accomplices: while Lydia struggled under her parents’ constant pressure, “only Nath had made it bearable all that time”. Indeed, while she has no friends at school, he is there to support her, forming a silent promise that he will always be there for her, as it reads, “they never discussed it, but both came to understand it as a promise”. However, as Nath pursues his dream of studying at Harvard, their relationship becomes tense, and secrets build up as Lydia fears being left behind. Unable to deal with the loss of Nath’s silent support, Lydia hides his acceptance letter and befriends their neighbour, Jack, of whom Nath disapproves.
Silence is preferred over talking about difficult events. After having taken Nath to the pool, where Nath experiences discrimination from his peers, James reflects, “What could he say to comfort his son?... Better just to forget the whole thing”. This is also applied to the summer when Marilyn left her home to resume her studies and Nath pushed Lydia into the pool. Indeed, this summer is key, the source of many of their unhappiness, yet they do not speak about it as “all of them tried to forget it. They did not talk about it; they never mentioned it. But it lingered, like a bad smell. It had suffused them so deeply it could never wash out”. This silence is harmful, leading to misunderstandings and resentment, perhaps even regrets.
However, Hannah’s silence is different. Throughout the book, Hannah is presented as an observer, an outsider to the family. She is mostly silent, barely noticed in general by her family. Indeed, she is mostly put aside by her family, her parents “act as if she [wasn’t] even there”. But her silence is not harmful, on the contrary, it is attentive. It is through her silence that she shows that she cares, as “her silence tells [Nath] that she is listening”.
While secrets and silence hold the characters apart, their actions tend to speak for them. Nath’s pushing of Lydia into the lake testifies to his jealousy, her lack of response symbolises her relief at letting go and Marilyn’s leaving to return to her studies shows her regret and longing for the life she wanted. In the end, the tragedy showed them that there was always more to what they believed was true. An ultimate secret remains, one that the family will never uncover, and that is the truth about Lydia’s death. While the reader gains an insight into her death, for the family, it will forever remain one of the things she has never told them.
This book is beautifully written, completely captures the reader’s attention and addresses themes delicately but honestly. The silence of these characters is, sometimes, frightening as it reflects our own when faced with family. A final quote, “So much will happen, [Nath] thinks, that I will want to tell [Lydia],” beautifully portrays the relationship that is now lost, but that could have been, perhaps, if one had decided to break the silence.
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